Drosselbart
by fireflower297
Summary: Based on the tale by the Brothers Grimm, about a princess who... Well, let me just have you find out for yourself.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: The Grimm Brothers' Koenig Drosselbart retold. Enjoy, Read, and Review!**

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Once upon a time, in a land not necessarily far away, lived a beautiful princess. She was as pretty as pretty can be, but she had a cold heart. Her name was Renate and she was the princess of Waldemar. Many suitors came and went, but she refused them all.

One day, a king named Steffen came to the castle. Now, despite his young age, this king already had quite a wonderful beard. He was quite proud of it, as it had garnered many compliments and earned him the nickname of Thrushbeard. However, despite his youth and wonderful riches, Steffen had yet to find a bride. Renate was the last noble on his list and the counselors would quite possibly murder him if he married a commoner, so his task would be all or nothing.

Many suitors had gathered, to celebrate Renate's birthday and possibly earn her hand in marriage. When all of the suitors had gathered in the Great Hall with the other guests, Renate started her inquisition. She began with the eldest, a man of about 50 years, whose belly had grown fat and his hair, grey. "Well now, if you were my husband, I would be like enough to call you 'Grandfather'." She laughed and continued on to the next suitor.

The number of red faces greatly expanded after the first man. Finally she reached the end of the line, where Steffen waited impatiently. He had heard enough insults today to know that she would find someway to belittle him. Renate began by having him turn in a circle. Her eyes eagerly took in his handsome figure from the bottom to the top. But when she saw his face, she was greatly surprised. His beard was thick and groomed into a point like a bird's beak.

Renate started to laugh. For as much as she liked the rest of his figure, she would much rather prefer to see the man without a beard, as she found her father's to be terribly ticklish whenever he gave her a kiss. "I had heard that you were called King Thrushbeard, but I didn't expect it to look so terribly like a bird's beak. Therefore, I shall call you _Bird-beard_!" Renate burst out laughing at her own cleverness.

"Of course, but you may want to consider that not everyone will take your jest as lightly as I have. I hope that then, you will see just how terrible you have been to everyone around you," with Steffen's harsh words, all of the suitors left the hall, complaining about Renate's treatment of them.

Renate's father turned to his daughter, terribly red-faced, "What were you _thinking_!" he yelled at her. "I went to a lot of trouble to find suitable men, and you throw each and every one of them into the fire!"

"Be sensible father, your counselors were the ones to find the men," Renate seated herself at one of the vacated seats and took a few morsels of food off of the platter, "You just think, royal and we're done with her. But I want to marry for _love_, like in the stories that the minstrels tell."

"Like the stories of the minstrels? Well then, I'll make sure you hear them every night. The next minstrel to come to the gate shall be your husband."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Part two in my Drosselbart story. The one in which PLANS are made. I am NOT one of the Brothers Grimm. Enjoy, Read, and Review!**

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Steffen would be ashamed to admit it aloud, but he liked Renate. He liked her spunk and he was ashamed to say that he had hidden behind a column when the other suitors had left. The King and Renate hadn't left immediately. In fact, they stayed for about thirty minutes, arguing about her suitors. She wanted to marry for love, while he wanted her to marry for position. In the end, the King gave up, promising that she would marry the next minstrel to come to the gate.

So she would marry a minstrel and not a king? That certainly created a change in tactics. Renate stormed out of the Hall, throwing her plate at her father's feet. Steffen sighed, she was finally gone. A cough sounded behind him and the young man turned to see the portly figure of Renate's father. "Hello there Steffen," the man said with a cheerful grin.

"Sir."

"Are you planning anything to get my daughter's hand before any of these minstrels?"

An idea sprang to life in Steffen's head, "Yes, sir, if you will permit me to stay here tonight and leave in the morning. I would like to make use of the royal barber's, in addition to various other facilities of yours."

"Certainly, just don't tell _me_ everything. I would probably tell Renate." Steffen smiled at the good king, who had always been a great help to him in times of trouble. "Steffen, would you mind terribly if I joined you at the barber's? I feel my under-chin returning."

"I don't mind at all." The two kings walked off to the royal barber's together, laughing over strange battlefield tactics that never worked.

Renate stared down the hallway after her father and suitor. It did not seem like the time to go to the barber's when a minstrel could arrive at any moment. No, her father and Drosselbart were up to something and she was going to find out what. Stumbling through the hallway (whomever said that princesses were always graceful was a liar), she made her way to the barbershop.

The barber was not in. He had been called away earlier that day to attend to his pregnant wife. With this knowledge, Renate got an idea.

The two kings entered the barbershop and were met by a young man with not much of a beard on his chin. The young man bowed deeply to each in turn. "Where is Harald?" the older king asked.

"He was called away to attend his wife; your majesty," the barber replied, settling each of the gentleman into their chairs. "I am R- Ralf."

The elder had an easier shave than the younger. It simply comprised of taking care of the few bristles underneath his chin. Steffen's shave was much more complicated. He firstly requested that as much of his beard as possible could be kept in a bag. The following steps grew more and more complex and the barber no longer took notice of any difference in the young king's now-beardless face.

The next day, an exhausted princess woke from a disturbed sleep by the king's fanfare and a loud banging at the door. "Go away!" she cried irritably.

"But Princess, you should be preparing for your wedding," the princess' lady-in-waiting answered.

"_Wedding! _What_ wedding!"_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: sorry about the late chapter and the long ballad within it**

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Steffen looked up at the castle, technically he had just been inside three hours ago, but that was when people thought of him as a king. Well, king no longer! Beardless, Steffen was much younger in appearance. Of course, a few people, including his fellow king and the barber had already seen him beardless, but it was a strange sensation.

His fingers curled around the neck of the lute and the words started to pour out of his mouth,

"O where ha you been, Lord Randal, my son?  
And where ha you been, my handsome young man?"  
"I ha been at the greenwood; mother, mak my bed soon,  
For I'm wearied wi hunting, and fain wad lie down."

"An wha met ye there, Lord Randal, my son?  
An wha met you there, my handsome young man?"  
"O I met wi my true-love; mother, mak my bed soon,  
For I'm wearied wi huntin, an fain wad lie down."

"And what did she give you, Lord Randal, my son?  
And what did she give you, my handsome young man?"  
"Eels fried in a pan; mother, mak my bed soon,  
For I'm wearied with huntin, and fain wad lie down."

"And wha gat your leavins, Lord Randal, my son?  
And what gat your leavins, my handsom young man?"  
"My hawks and my hounds; mother, mak my bed soon,  
For I'm wearied wi huntin, and fain wad lie down."

"And what becam of them, Lord Randall, my son?  
And what became of them, my handsome young man?"  
"They stretched their legs out an died; mother, mak my bed soon,  
For I'm wearied wi huntin, and fain wad lie down."

"O I fear you are poisoned, Lord Randal, my son!  
I fear you are poisoned, my handsome young man!"  
"O yes, I am poisoned; mother, mak my bed soon,  
For I'm sick at the heart, and I fain wad lie down."

"What d' ye leave to your mother, Lord Randal, my son?  
What d'ye leave to your mother, my handsome young man?"  
"Four and twenty milk kye; mother, mak my bed soon,  
For I'm sick at the heart, and I fain wad lie down."

"What d' ye leave to your sister, Lord Randal, my son?  
What d' ye leave to your sister, my handsome young man?"  
"My gold and my silver; mother, mak my bed soon,  
For I'm sick at the heart, an I fain wad lie down."

"What d' ye leave to your brother, Lord Randal, my son?  
What d' ye leave to your brother, my handsome young man?"  
"My house and my lands; mother, mak my bed soon,  
For I'm sick at the heart, and I fain wad lie down."

"What d' ye leave to your true-love, Lord Randal, my son?  
What d' ye leave to your true-love, my handsome young man?"  
"I leave her hell and fire; mother, mak my bed soon,  
For I'm sick at the heart, and I fain wad lie down." ******

The music reached the king's ears as he strolled around the courtyard. The man smiled, his daughter was finally going to be married! He ran as quickly as he could to the gate to view the minstrel. "Good minstrel!" he cried, his arms spread wide to receive the smelly young king. "Your song has enraptured me. As great thanks, you shall marry my daughter!" The two kings chuckled. To the servants, it would appear that the king had indeed chosen the first minstrel to come to the gate.

"What talent!" the King exclaimed to all those in the courtyard. "Come, my boy, and I shall lead you to a place where you may prepare for the wedding."

"Thank you, your Majesty. I follow, with all attendance," Steffen remarked.

As the two men walked through the corridors, the king pointed at a lady-in-waiting and commanded, "Go fetch my daughter. Tell her that today shall be her wedding day and help her to prepare." The woman bobbed into a short curtsy and rushed in the opposite direction to fetch the princess. The two kings chuckled once she had left and continued on to the Great Hall, where the wedding would occur.

Half an hour later, Renate arrived in the hall, looking thoroughly annoyed. "Hello, _ Father_," the young woman said contemptuously, "Are you ready to sell me off to the lowest bidder?"

"My dear, you need to learn some humility." The princess rolled her eyes and took a good look at her future husband. He was tall and clean-shaven, with what looked like a good bit of lean muscle on his arms, but he appeared to be _very_ young. He was also smiling like the _Mona Lisa_, which Renate found to be a bit disturbing.

The minstrel spoke, "She will certainly learn about humility with me your majesty." His voice was soft but commanded Renate's attention all the more because of this. He turned to the king, "I believe we are ready sir."

The king looked expectantly at his daughter. After she nodded in complacency, he began the ceremony, pronouncing words that would join them for the rest of their lives. Post-ceremony, he gave his daughter one last kiss to send her on her way and shook his son-in-law's hand. A cook came up with a bundle of food and handed it to the minstrel.

He turned to his new wife, "This is your first lesson." Renate stared at him in confusion. "Carry our food," he commanded, with an almost regal air.

Renate lifted her chin, looked him straight in the eye and replied, "Never."

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****Lord Randall is a ballad that has numerous variations throughout Europe, at least, that's what I heard (any non-English Europeans can correct me on that and you'll get different ballad)**

**A/N: Sort of a cliffie?**


	4. Chapter 4

Steffen pulled open the castle gate, gently pushing his wife in front of him. "Ow!" she cried in indignation, "I am a princess, I don't deserve your abuse!"

Steffen sighed, "I was unaware that I had hurt you, but you need to become used to a rough hand as my wife. You are no longer a princess, you're only the wife of a minstrel and that is how things are going to stay."

He pulled her along to the road and upon reaching it, Renate asked, "Where is our coach? I cannot travel without a coach."

"Can you dance?"

"What!"

"I asked if you could dance. If so, the time would pass more quickly for you and someone might hire us for the night."

"Would you join me?" Steffen took a step back in shock. "I never dance without a partner," she quickly explained, "and seeing as we never shared a wedding dance such as I might have had, were you not a minstrel, I am asking you."

Taking a deep breath, he took her hand and began to sing, "Who will play a tune for dancing? Who will play the fiddle sweet? All the girls are shyly waiting, waiting with impatient feet. Fiddler, fiddler, come here soon and play us all a merry tune. La la lalalala la la la la la lalalalala la lalala." Renate started dancing with her husband. He was light on his feet, as though he had been dancing for years. She stared at him in awe, but he kept his eyes on the road, leading her in among the other pedestrians, who soon joined in the dance with a joy and a vigor that Renate had never seen before.

When the newlyweds broke off from the others, Renate soon discovered why. They had entered another kingdom, Thrushbeard's to be exact. "Oh dear," she said. Her husband looked over at her, "We are in the kingdom of a man who I was terrible to once. What will I do if I meet him?"

Steffen smiled his secret little smile again, "If you do, apologize and tell him that you are the wife of a minstrel, no one of importance." Renate frowned and the minstrel turned to face her directly, "I am not a rich man, but my life is full of beautiful things. You are one of them. Another is that I don't have to share my home with anyone who would ask why you are with me."

They entered the woods which bordered his lands and as Renate walked, she tried to focus on the way that the light came through the trees rather than the young man beside her. Further up the path came the sound of braying donkey and cursing. Taking a knife out of his belt, Steffen handed it as well as the lute to Renate and instructed her to hide in the hollow of a tree. Feverishly, he whispered to her, "This is your second test, passing it may help you live. If I'm not back in fifteen minutes, run home," pressing a kiss to her mouth, he ran to see what the difficulty was up ahead.

Renate tried to spit out the aftertaste of the kiss, which wasn't as terrible as she had expected. Rubbing the spit from off her mouth, she leaned back against the side of the tree that the minstrel had told her to enter. She was going to have to learn to call him something else; minstrel was too impersonal to call the man she had married.

Meanwhile, Steffen ran to see what the trouble was. What he found was surprisingly not a foe, but a friend. His servant Hans had misdirected a donkey, leading it so that its rope was taut around a tree. "Hans!" he cried in surprise.

The servant looked up in confusion, the man before him sounded like his king, but didn't look like him, "Who are you?" the man asked as Steffen approached with his arms spread wide in greeting.

"Is that anyway to treat your recently beardless king?"

"My lord!" Hans started to explain in depth what he was doing on the road, how the donkey was misled, events in the kingdom, and had soon taken over the full fifteen minutes warning that Steffen had given Renate. All of a sudden, a battle-cry sounded, coming towards the path and Hans was knocked over in a flurry of fists and limbs.

"What did you do to my husband?" cried the voice from the pale blur.

Steffen chuckled and the punching stopped, "I had no idea you would come back for someone you just met, your highness."

Renate looked up at her husband with wide eyes, not believing that he still stood, safe and sound. Brushing herself off, she said, "I don't leave anyone behind, even if I barely know them."

"Now that you know I didn't kill him, could you get off of me?" Hans choked out from under her knee to his throat. Renate stuck out her hand and her husband helped her off of the poor man. "Well, now that I can breathe again: would you like a ride into town?"


End file.
